Depressed, down and out or whatever you call it

My worst working nightmare was realized 3 weeks ago when the bank that I work for failed!  That's right kiddos, FDIC walked in and shut us down.  It was a horrible, horrible experience because they show up at 3:30 but I can't tell my staff what's happening until after the last branch closes at 6....do they think we're all morons....hello, business suits walk in on friday, come into my office, shut the door and duh....no one is suppose to think anything is out of norm?  Anyway, it's an experience that I'd gladly do without again, thank you very much.  I've been struggling with depression for about 8 or 9 months now and just thought that maybe I was turning the corner when all this happened.  Now, I'm not stupid I knew that it "had" to happen because we were hanging on the edge of the cliff for way too long but still it's a blow.  We were lucky because another bank did purchase us and we've been fortunate that no one has been terminated but still it's more change.   The one thing I could do without now.  Anyhoooo....we're all just struggling to get thru the day without actual blood loss right now, I'm here just about round the clock reassuring customers and staff but hey, who's gonna reassure me?

So enough whining, the dr started me on some new meds and made me promise that before I see him later this month I would start doing things that I once enjoyed.  So of course, I'm still stitching but also made arrangements for my parents to come visit for a week (something I have been putting off for over a year now) and I've started reading again.  I've been a reader since I was 3 and ued to plow thru 4 or 5 books a week but as things got worse I just shut down that aspect of "me".  Now, I'm not sure why I gave up reading because you'd think that would occupy my thoughts instead of dwelling on everything else but instead it just felt like one more deadline to me.  I stocked up on books last week at costco, went for a massage and even bought more Blackbird Designs patterns so maybe I'm back to finding "me" again.  Now I just need to start reconnecting with my friends again which is kinda the hardest for me right now.

Mark and I celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary on Sunday.  I'm still shocked and really need to collect serious bucks from his frat brothers that swore we'd never even make it 1 year.  I know when we were engaged there was a pool going on so I bet we'd shock some of those guys now with 23 years under our belts so to speak...ok maybe that's over our belts since things are sagging.  We painted our tv room and bought Mark's dream tv.  We started saturday just going to look at the tvs, then  maybe just buy a tv, ok but we really should paint the room since we're going to be hanging thetv on the wall and well, we've changed the furniture in there anyway to HUGE, Fullblown project weekend.  What were we thinking that re-doing an entire room in 2 days is a romantic weekend????  But the color is amazing and the room is starting to all
come together just as I had imagined.  It's not as prim as I'd like but maybe more mission styled but Mark likes it so I'm not griping at all.  He was trying to show me the tv Sunday night but he was watching golf so I was less than impressed so he said wait a sec, he then turned on Criminal Minds and I was hooked!  The pic is amazing!

Alrighty, I've got to get off this computer and figure out what we are having for dinner tonight...hummm...
5 guys cheeseburgers and fries? No maybe not, Mark has his sleep study tonight so I'd hate to send him up to the hospital so full they might think he's gonna explode.  Ah, I get the whole bed to myself tonight with only Clarice and me snoring too loudly.  Wahoo!